One of my thoughts was about sharing... Would it be so bad if everything was free? If we all shared with each other? If everyone was equal? Would that be so bad? I mean people kill other people over money and power and things! If everyone was equal, we wouldn't have that problem. If no man had any more power over another man, maybe there would be less violence in the world.. Wouldn't that be a good thing? I mean, I know it's a crazy idea that probably won't happen on this Earth.. But if it was possible, I think there would be a lot less greed and violence in the world. Just an idea...
There are a lot of whistlers in my family.. I feel like everyone whistles or sings in this house.. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but my sister is kind of a loud whistler. I'm not a fan of loud things.. I know she's probably just doing it out of habit and to have fun..but how does she do it so loudly? It's totes cray cray. :P
Have you ever had something eating at you but you can't seem to make it go away? I've been having this off and on feeling for like the past year. I was dating this guy named Jordan Day. He was a recent RM and started working with me. I know, I know, dating people you work with can be a bad idea... But it always feels different when you're in the moment.. Anyway, so Jordan was an RM and we were getting lunch or something and he told me that I should go on a mission. Well, he more suggested it, like it would be a good idea. He also said he might regret it later and change his mind and want me to stay, but that he would support me.So, life goes on... Then at General Conference, they make the announcement that the missionary age limit has changed. Now boys can go at age 18 and girls can go at age 19. Crazy stuff, right? I didn't think much of it at first. My friend/coworker Carlie, however, was ecstatic about it and I think she started crying at work. We had to work that Saturday. So we didn't get to watch conference but some of us were able to listen to the radio on the computer. I did that for the next General Conference but not for that particular one where they made that announcement. Anywho, since the age change we've had a ton of people get their mission calls earlier and leave on missions. All the event invites I seem to get on Facebook are invites to weddings, farewells, homecomings, or baby showers. I'm just chilling over here going to school and work... Anyway, awhile after the age change, after I had contemplated it, I was still dating Jordan. I had felt like I should break up with him but I wasn't sure why.. I mean, looking back at it now, breaking up with him was a good idea for so many other reasons... But the reason I told him was that I wanted to go on a mission. I wasn't lying by any means, but that was the easiest reason. There were other reasons, like the fact that he lied to me and was childish and other stuff.. But I felt like if I told him I was going on a mission, he'd understand and we wouldn't end on a bad note. Things got really weird after that.. The first night he said he was proud of me and supported me and wanted to help in any way he could. The following week he was really weird and clingy and boyfriend-ish and acted like we were still together. It was awkward.. We got in a lot of fights and he said I was going to get kicked out of the MTC. Basically, the end result of the relationship was he quit his job at the place where I work and started dating a girl who still works there, as far as I know, but is now planning to go on a mission... Funny how that turned out... Anyway, Jordan and I don't talk anymore. He's said some rude things about me on Facebook behind my back, which is rude and childish and immature. I mean for one, he hasn't talked to me or seen me since he quit. Therefore, he has no idea what I had been doing. Second of all, he had another girlfriend. I mean, what kind of person bad talks his ex on Facebook, to the world, in front of his new girlfriend, no less? I would not want to be Amy (his girlfriend). It was a whole stupid thing. I don't know what he heard or who told him what but basically he said I was a terrible person and he's glad we broke up. I don't know what he heard or from who or what made him say that, but it was rude and uncalled for and whatever he said or was referring to was probably not true. Anyway, that's not the point. We're broken up. It doesn't matter anymore. I just wanted to rant about that somewhere... Back to the point of the story.. After Jordan quit, I didn't have a lot of motivation to go on a mission. I had people ask about it several times but I never really got my papers or anything. I talked to my bishop once but it was for like 2 minutes. Basically, I don't think I'm going on a mission... That was also partly because during the Summer, I dated Cody Christensen, also a guy from work. He was probably the most amazing boyfriend. He said all the right things, took me on fun dates, gave me a nice present, all that jazz.. Our first date was super romantic.. He was almost perfect. But he went back to USU when Fall semester started up. I was heart broken and things didn't work out. He was part of the reason why I thought maybe I was supposed to get married instead of go on a mission. I'm still not 100% certain of what I should do. But I'm leaning more towards focusing on school and work and learning more about the gospel and helping others and serving at home. I feel like that's a good idea. I just keep wondering if I'm supposed to go on a mission still.. I just don't think I want to anymore. Don't get me wrong, I think missions are important and every able young man should go, but they're not necessarily the right choice for everyone, which is why I think that maybe I'm supposed to be different. But I can't say for sure. That's just been bugging me for a while and I wish it would go away.
I'm falling asleep at my laptop. So, I'm going to end here and get into bed. I doubt anyone reads this anymore, but to anyone who might, good night and farewell.
<3 Katlyn
P.S. I've started going by Kate or Katlyn, because my full name is Katlyn. So if you called me Kat, please call me Kate or Katlyn.
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